I am made of parts that freeze and ligaments that atrophy
Though they look they'll never see
They don't know something's wrong with me
And just as well, I'll never tell what's underneath the scales
I've worn too thin to honor you, my every effort fails
Bury me with Israel and cover up my tracks
Leave not a trace of what I was, I'm never coming back
And if your mercy falls upon he whose blood is cold
Unearth me with your hands of love and never break your hold
The world is full of ones like me
Who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed
The truth is only You
Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Suck the venom from every bite and vomit every drop
Some of us may bite your hand but some of us will not
And every knee will bow before you, each forked tongue confess
My selfishness will rot in me and I will seek your rest
Still some lizards flee from you, ashamed of all they've been
So Jesus take myself from me, never bring it back again
The world is full of ones like me, who need to see the truth
But the truth is never truth indeed, the truth is only You
The world will soon become extinct, the age will pass away
And all will know that you are God, hallowed be your name
Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Forgive the basilisk, forgive the moccasins and adders too
Have mercy on each alligator that never lived for you
I myself hatched from an egg, no white light from above
Just another ancient serpent that never earned your love
But still you find me underneath the rocks and in the ground
I cowered there just short of air and never made a sound
It's true that I'm in love with you, and even in my shame
You wipe away the imperfections and take away the pain
You wrap your loving arms around this wretched thing called me
Your love is all I'll ever need, your love has set me free
The truth is only You.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Quote of the Day
It does not matter how small the sins are, provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick.
-C.S. Lewis
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Quote of the Day
"I've wasted so much time
coming up with questions.
Asking 'Why?' has never answered much for me.
And really who am I,
to never feel the weight of burden?
When was I promised simplicity?"
-Stavesacre, "Reason to Believe"
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Quote of the Day
There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done."
-C.S. Lewis
Sunday, December 9, 2007
The Crimson Fountain Is Open Still
Another thought from Morning and Evening:
"Reader, is your heart heavy this evening? God knew it would be; the comfort which your heart wants is treasured in the sweet assurance of the text. You are poor and needy, but he has thought upon you, and has the exact blessing which you require in store for you. Plead the promise, believe it and obtain its fulfilment. Do you feel that you never were so consciously vile as you are now? Behold, the crimson fountain is open still, with all its former efficacy, to wash your sin away. Never shall you come into such a position that Christ cannot aid you. No pinch shall ever arrive in your spiritual affairs in which Jesus Christ shall not be equal to the emergency, for your history has all been foreknown and provided for in Jesus."
Monday, November 12, 2007
The Semester That Is
I figured it was time to do some journaling again, or at least give a little testimony of what has been going on for the past 3 months.
Once again, I've went back to college this fall, taking Calc II at Delta and then driving over to SVSU for Discrete Mathematics right after Calc. I didn't know what to expect this year with Calc II, but I figured it would be more difficult than Calc I. I also had no clue about Introduction to Discrete Math. But, I have to get my Math minor done ASAP so in the summer of '08 I can be looking for math teaching jobs. I was hoping I would be able to juggle two college classes with not too much difficulty. As last years Calc I class was coming to an end, it became more difficult and for some reason I wasn't trying as hard (married?). That made me nervous about Calc II.
Let's just say, after the first week (2 classes) I about had a nervous breakdown. In just a few meetings of each class, I was asking myself on the way to class "Is this the day that I no longer understand the material?" "Is this going to be my final day of 'getting' what the instructor is talking about." I was already feeling like I was drowning after just a couple classes, and here I am, not even in the middle of September. I was even considering the possibility of dropping Discrete Math. Things were not going good. Let me put it this way: I was doing backflips after Calc II class compared to my Discrete Math. My mind was just not wrapping about the Discrete stuff. Oh, and a 62% is a C. (All I need is a 62? How hard can it be?)
Since I have an hour to drive back home, all I could do was get down on my knees and start some heavy prayer. Only, I was driving, so I had to pretend I was on both knees. I had some major stress and heavy burdens and I was starting to crumble. I didn't have any hope or confidence that I could make it through this semester. Here I am, going to college because I felt like I should be pursuing a math minor, and I can't even make it past the first couple of basic classes. How in the world then am I supposed to make it through my other 3 required classes after this semester? The classes only get harder, right? Well, then I'm doomed. Do I even bother with math anymore? Should I pursue a different career?
Well, after heavy prayer before every class, things have made a complete turn around. It is now nearly the middle of November and I only have 3 tests and 7 classes to go! It took me many many weeks to finally see the bigger picture: If God wants me to teach math, then He is going to get me through this hurdle and these classes. If He wants me to take college math classes, then why would He set me up to fail? Once I realized those principles or promises, everything made more sense. If this is God's plan, then he'll provide me with what I need to get through it.
Once again, I've went back to college this fall, taking Calc II at Delta and then driving over to SVSU for Discrete Mathematics right after Calc. I didn't know what to expect this year with Calc II, but I figured it would be more difficult than Calc I. I also had no clue about Introduction to Discrete Math. But, I have to get my Math minor done ASAP so in the summer of '08 I can be looking for math teaching jobs. I was hoping I would be able to juggle two college classes with not too much difficulty. As last years Calc I class was coming to an end, it became more difficult and for some reason I wasn't trying as hard (married?). That made me nervous about Calc II.
Let's just say, after the first week (2 classes) I about had a nervous breakdown. In just a few meetings of each class, I was asking myself on the way to class "Is this the day that I no longer understand the material?" "Is this going to be my final day of 'getting' what the instructor is talking about." I was already feeling like I was drowning after just a couple classes, and here I am, not even in the middle of September. I was even considering the possibility of dropping Discrete Math. Things were not going good. Let me put it this way: I was doing backflips after Calc II class compared to my Discrete Math. My mind was just not wrapping about the Discrete stuff. Oh, and a 62% is a C. (All I need is a 62? How hard can it be?)
Since I have an hour to drive back home, all I could do was get down on my knees and start some heavy prayer. Only, I was driving, so I had to pretend I was on both knees. I had some major stress and heavy burdens and I was starting to crumble. I didn't have any hope or confidence that I could make it through this semester. Here I am, going to college because I felt like I should be pursuing a math minor, and I can't even make it past the first couple of basic classes. How in the world then am I supposed to make it through my other 3 required classes after this semester? The classes only get harder, right? Well, then I'm doomed. Do I even bother with math anymore? Should I pursue a different career?
Well, after heavy prayer before every class, things have made a complete turn around. It is now nearly the middle of November and I only have 3 tests and 7 classes to go! It took me many many weeks to finally see the bigger picture: If God wants me to teach math, then He is going to get me through this hurdle and these classes. If He wants me to take college math classes, then why would He set me up to fail? Once I realized those principles or promises, everything made more sense. If this is God's plan, then he'll provide me with what I need to get through it.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Thought of the Day
Here's the thought of the day from the sermon I heard this morning: God doesn't fill us with His power to accomplish things that we can do on our own.
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