Quote of the Day

"I've wasted so much time
coming up with questions.
Asking 'Why?' has never answered much for me.
And really who am I,
to never feel the weight of burden?
When was I promised simplicity?"
-Stavesacre, "Reason to Believe"

Quote of the Day

There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done."
-C.S. Lewis

The Crimson Fountain Is Open Still

Another thought from Morning and Evening:

"Reader, is your heart heavy this evening? God knew it would be; the comfort which your heart wants is treasured in the sweet assurance of the text. You are poor and needy, but he has thought upon you, and has the exact blessing which you require in store for you. Plead the promise, believe it and obtain its fulfilment. Do you feel that you never were so consciously vile as you are now? Behold, the crimson fountain is open still, with all its former efficacy, to wash your sin away. Never shall you come into such a position that Christ cannot aid you. No pinch shall ever arrive in your spiritual affairs in which Jesus Christ shall not be equal to the emergency, for your history has all been foreknown and provided for in Jesus."

The Semester That Is

I figured it was time to do some journaling again, or at least give a little testimony of what has been going on for the past 3 months.

Once again, I've went back to college this fall, taking Calc II at Delta and then driving over to SVSU for Discrete Mathematics right after Calc. I didn't know what to expect this year with Calc II, but I figured it would be more difficult than Calc I. I also had no clue about Introduction to Discrete Math. But, I have to get my Math minor done ASAP so in the summer of '08 I can be looking for math teaching jobs. I was hoping I would be able to juggle two college classes with not too much difficulty. As last years Calc I class was coming to an end, it became more difficult and for some reason I wasn't trying as hard (married?). That made me nervous about Calc II.

Let's just say, after the first week (2 classes) I about had a nervous breakdown. In just a few meetings of each class, I was asking myself on the way to class "Is this the day that I no longer understand the material?" "Is this going to be my final day of 'getting' what the instructor is talking about." I was already feeling like I was drowning after just a couple classes, and here I am, not even in the middle of September. I was even considering the possibility of dropping Discrete Math. Things were not going good. Let me put it this way: I was doing backflips after Calc II class compared to my Discrete Math. My mind was just not wrapping about the Discrete stuff. Oh, and a 62% is a C. (All I need is a 62? How hard can it be?)

Since I have an hour to drive back home, all I could do was get down on my knees and start some heavy prayer. Only, I was driving, so I had to pretend I was on both knees. I had some major stress and heavy burdens and I was starting to crumble. I didn't have any hope or confidence that I could make it through this semester. Here I am, going to college because I felt like I should be pursuing a math minor, and I can't even make it past the first couple of basic classes. How in the world then am I supposed to make it through my other 3 required classes after this semester? The classes only get harder, right? Well, then I'm doomed. Do I even bother with math anymore? Should I pursue a different career?

Well, after heavy prayer before every class, things have made a complete turn around. It is now nearly the middle of November and I only have 3 tests and 7 classes to go! It took me many many weeks to finally see the bigger picture: If God wants me to teach math, then He is going to get me through this hurdle and these classes. If He wants me to take college math classes, then why would He set me up to fail? Once I realized those principles or promises, everything made more sense. If this is God's plan, then he'll provide me with what I need to get through it.

Thought of the Day

Here's the thought of the day from the sermon I heard this morning: God doesn't fill us with His power to accomplish things that we can do on our own.

Quote of the Day

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.
–C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, pages 40-41.

Greatness

A thought from Morning and Evening:

You may look, and study, and weigh, but Jesus is a greater Saviour than you think him to be when your thoughts are at the greatest.