The Semester That Is

I figured it was time to do some journaling again, or at least give a little testimony of what has been going on for the past 3 months.

Once again, I've went back to college this fall, taking Calc II at Delta and then driving over to SVSU for Discrete Mathematics right after Calc. I didn't know what to expect this year with Calc II, but I figured it would be more difficult than Calc I. I also had no clue about Introduction to Discrete Math. But, I have to get my Math minor done ASAP so in the summer of '08 I can be looking for math teaching jobs. I was hoping I would be able to juggle two college classes with not too much difficulty. As last years Calc I class was coming to an end, it became more difficult and for some reason I wasn't trying as hard (married?). That made me nervous about Calc II.

Let's just say, after the first week (2 classes) I about had a nervous breakdown. In just a few meetings of each class, I was asking myself on the way to class "Is this the day that I no longer understand the material?" "Is this going to be my final day of 'getting' what the instructor is talking about." I was already feeling like I was drowning after just a couple classes, and here I am, not even in the middle of September. I was even considering the possibility of dropping Discrete Math. Things were not going good. Let me put it this way: I was doing backflips after Calc II class compared to my Discrete Math. My mind was just not wrapping about the Discrete stuff. Oh, and a 62% is a C. (All I need is a 62? How hard can it be?)

Since I have an hour to drive back home, all I could do was get down on my knees and start some heavy prayer. Only, I was driving, so I had to pretend I was on both knees. I had some major stress and heavy burdens and I was starting to crumble. I didn't have any hope or confidence that I could make it through this semester. Here I am, going to college because I felt like I should be pursuing a math minor, and I can't even make it past the first couple of basic classes. How in the world then am I supposed to make it through my other 3 required classes after this semester? The classes only get harder, right? Well, then I'm doomed. Do I even bother with math anymore? Should I pursue a different career?

Well, after heavy prayer before every class, things have made a complete turn around. It is now nearly the middle of November and I only have 3 tests and 7 classes to go! It took me many many weeks to finally see the bigger picture: If God wants me to teach math, then He is going to get me through this hurdle and these classes. If He wants me to take college math classes, then why would He set me up to fail? Once I realized those principles or promises, everything made more sense. If this is God's plan, then he'll provide me with what I need to get through it.

Thought of the Day

Here's the thought of the day from the sermon I heard this morning: God doesn't fill us with His power to accomplish things that we can do on our own.